


Sewn into the Fabric

by helsinkibaby



Series: Stolen Moments [10]
Category: West Wing
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-26
Updated: 2011-05-26
Packaged: 2017-10-19 19:37:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/204487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helsinkibaby/pseuds/helsinkibaby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post ep to "17 People". Ainsley thinks about the events of 17 People and about her relationship with Leo. Tenth in the "Stolen Moments" series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sewn into the Fabric

Tonight has been a good night. It started off with me in my office, preparing my notes for the panel on the ERA. Which is going to be quite the interesting event I might add. Me and a panel of liberals, debating the merits of the ERA. I expect to be outnumbered by about a thousand to one - considering I work with those odds every day, I'm not too worried. But it doesn't hurt to be prepared, so I was in my office, making notes. It was late when I heard someone yelling my name down the stairs. I knew who it was of course. And, considering one of the last times he came down the stairs, he didn't announce himself at all and instead caught me dancing around my office in my bathrobe, well, let's just say that Sam's improved in that area somewhat.

That doesn't mean that I had to yell back to answer him. One of Gramma's lessons, a good Southern lady never raises her voice. So I let him yell his little heart out. After all, if it's important enough for him to seek out the Republican in the basement (which seems to be my nickname around here; and don't think I haven't noticed the similarities to the Madwoman in the Attic) then it's important enough for him to come down the stairs right?

I will admit that the thought ran through my mind that Leo never yells down the stairs like that. And when Sam did eventually come down the stairs, he stood on them until he saw that I was in my office and shouted at a lower volume before he came in. Leo never does that either. Leo always knocks, even if the door is open.

You see how I'm doing that? Comparing Sam to Leo? That's got to be a bit of a habit with me. Not comparing Sam with Leo. Although my sister, when I was visiting her at the weekend, did think that there was a new guy on the scene from my reaction to some of her interrogation. I mean questions, silly me. And she did express horror at the notion that the new guy might just be a Democrat. And of course the first person that she lit on was Sam, because of our first meeting on Capitol Beat. Once I stopped laughing, I managed to tell her that I wasn't attracted to Sam that way. Oh, he's a nice guy, and he's friendly, and he fired those guys who hassled me on my first day here, and he's got over the whole ass-kicking thing really well. I can see why people would think that I would be attracted to him.

But.

You knew that but was coming right?

But, we fight all the time. You name it, we've clashed over it, from the ERA, to gun control to the location of a town and everything in between. And I admit, it is a two-way thing, it's not just him. I don't back down, not in front of him, not in front of any man. (Another one of Gramma's lessons.) And he doesn't back down in front of me either. Which is great when I'm in the mood for a bit of spirited intellectual debate. But I'm not sure if it's conducive to pillow talk.

Besides which, while I can appreciate that Sam is a handsome man, and that there's a great many ladies in Washington who'd give their eye teeth to go out with him, he just doesn’t do it for me.

I had a point in there somewhere.

Oh yes.

My point was not that I was comparing Sam to Leo. Not as such.

Rahter, it's that I compare every guy to Leo these days.

And every single one of them comes up lacking.

Anyway, Sam had a reason for coming down to me, asking me to help them out with the speech for the Correspondent's Dinner. I wasn't going to, not until he told me that they had Chinese food.

Well, I was hungry.

So I went to the Roosevelt Room, and helped myself to some of the food there. One thing I will say about the staff here is that they know their takeout. The Kung Pao Chicken was to die for. And while I was there, I couldn't help but look at the chopsticks that had come with the food and notice that yes, in fact, the ends were noticeably blunter than their Japanese counterparts, and made a mental note to point that out to Leo the next time I saw him.

You see how he works his way into my thoughts like that?

It's really quite disturbing.

And when we worked our way through the Chinese food, and a good many jokes, none of which were funny, Sam and I went to the mess. Of course, we debated the merits of the ERA the whole way down there, and I couldn't help but realise that Leo and I would probably disagree on this too, if we ever talked politics. But we don't. We talk about everything but politics, and if I do say so myself, we do it quite well.

Anyway, the mess. I was looking for cheesecake. Now, believe it or not, I'm not usually a cheesecake kind of girl. When it comes to cake, I have but one rule, and it is this. The more chocolate the better. You simply cannot go wrong with chocolate cake. Either in times of celebration or in times of disaster, it is the perfect choice. Either it is the crowning glory or it is the soothing balm but either way, it addresses all situations. Given a choice of desserts, I will invariably pick the chocolatiest one. Except for lately, when I've developed a taste for cheesecake.

And does anyone want to guess who turned me on to cheesecake?

No, we don't really have to answer that question do we?

And by the way, I did notice that I used the phrase "turned on" in a sentence to do with Leo back there.

I didn't mean it like that.

Am I fooling anyone here?

Nope, didn't think so. Not even me.

Have you noticed that nearly every single little thing tonight has made me think of Leo in one way or another? And this is not an isolated incident. Oh no, it's a regular occurrence. Somewhere along the line, he's come to mean quite a lot to me.

Oh, I knew that I was attracted to him. I've known that for a while, although it finally clicked me with around the time of the State of the Union. But this goes beyond mere physical attraction. There was some element of that the very first time that I met him, when he offered me this job. And I can admit that it's grown over time, but there's more to it than that. He's worked his way into every part of my thoughts, into the fabric of my life. Which is more than a little scary, to be honest with you.

It's been a long time since I've been in a relationship with a man. There was a guy in law school, a very serious guy in fact. We lived together, we were even engaged. And I adored him, beyond all measure. Right until the day that he told me he was leaving me. That he'd been seeing someone else for months, that she was everything he wanted in a woman. I cried for days, lost my appetite completely, and when I stopped crying, I swore that I would never let another man that close to me. That I would never let a man capture my heart like that again.

And I never have.

You see, Leo didn't set out to seduce me, never made the obvious overtures of a man who was attracted to me. For all I know, this could be a strictly one-sided thing, although all evidence points to the contrary. First of all, he was this name on a page, someone I assassinated in print in an op-ed piece, then he was the White House Chief of Staff calling to invite me to his office. Then he was a guy with a nice smile and twinkling eyes who made me trust him, who made me consider the job and accept it. Then he was the one who made me welcome and helped me find my office. He was my first friend in the White House.

He was my first friend.

He was my friend first.

And when we began to see more of each other around here, I didn't pay any attention to it. Because he's older, because he's my boss, because he's a Democrat, because he wears his wedding ring still. Because he couldn't possibly be interested in me. And when I realised just what I was getting into with him, it was too late to back out.

By the time I realised that I was falling for him, I'd already landed.

It was that easy. Which leads me to where I am now, and I'm not quite sure where that is. Because while I'm enjoying whatever it is between us now, I'd really like to know if he feels the same way. To know for sure. I've been telling myself for days that the next time I see him, I'm going to talk to him about it. I thought tonight might just be my chance.

I knew that Leo was in some big heavy meeting with Toby and the President. Which meant that I knew that tonight wasn't going to be a dessert-night. Which was fine with me. I didn't know how long the meeting was going to last, but when Toby came out, I couldn't help but notice how distracted he was. Oh, he listened to our jokes, but he didn't contribute. And Donna's told me some stories of how Sam and Toby collaborate on speeches. Silence from Toby is not part of the deal.

And I can't help but wonder if something went on in the Oval Office tonight that caused him to be that way.

When we leave the Roosevelt Room, I look across the hall to Leo's office. All the lights are off and it looks deserted. He must already be gone for the night. Either that, or he's still in the Oval Office.

Oh well. I suppose if it's something important, I'll hear all about it sometime.


End file.
